Orcs: Sugar and Spice

Page

Scene 1:

Several orcs are gathered around a large fire inside a garrison, resting up after yet another fight. Draka approaches Thrall.

DRAKA

Yo, Thrall, you fight really good. How come you’ve got no mate? I mean, your green skin is a potential turn-off, but orc chicks really dig a guy who can fight.

 

THRALL

I do have a mate.

 

DRAKA

Yeah? Why isn’t she here at your side? Are you ashamed of her? Can she not fight?

 

THRALL

Aggra is strong and fierce, and I am very proud of her. She is back home looking after our little ones.

 

DRAKA

Back home? Away from the fighting? Dude, are you trying to raise a bunch of wussies or something? Orcs thrive on battle! They should be here by your side.

 

THRALL

(sighing quietly)

That’s exactly what she said.

 

—–

 Scene 2:

Not long afterward, not far away. Thrall is standing beside Khadgar on a hill.

 

KHADGAR

You say you need a portal?

 

THRALL

Uh, yeah, just for a sec. I left something back on Azeroth.

 

KHADGAR

(looking him over)

Hammer, armor, boots, totems, giant melons tied around your neck, combination tough-guy/wife-beater duster… looks to me like you’ve got everything you need. Well, except maybe your hair.

 

THRALL

(scratching his bare head)

Ah, well, that’s another story. And thanks. I owe you one. BRB.

 

(Thrall steps through portal and disappears.)

 —–

 Scene 3:

A moderate hut with clothing and toys strewn all over the floor and the furniture. Aggra stands beside a fireplace, one hand stirring a pot, the other hand holding an infant to her breast. Another small child stands beside her, crying and clutching her skirt. Her hair looks like it hasn’t been combed in a month. Thrall steps inside the door.

 

THRALL

Honey, I’m home!

 Aggra glares at him, growls, and turns back to the fireplace. Thrall approaches her, tries to pick up the toddler but the child pushes him away and cries louder. Angrily Aggra drops the spoon into the pot and snatches the child up with one hand, dislodging the nursing infant who also begins to cry.

 AGGRA

Did you enjoy your boys’ trip?

THRALL

Um, about that…

 AGGRA

(speaking louder over the children’s crying)

Durak is teething.

 

THRALL

(attempting to smile at the child)

My boy’s getting another tooth? What a big boy you are!

 

The toddler buries his face in Aggra’s neck.

 

THRALL

No, the trip isn’t over yet, Aggra. In fact, I came to ask you something.

 

AGGRA

If you want another kid, could you at least wait till this one is weaned?

 

THRALL

No, not that. It’s just… well, I was thinking… you know Draenor better than I do. It would be good to have you there with me.

 

AGGRA

You got lost again and wouldn’t ask directions.

 

THRALL

Please, dear, let me speak. I’m sorry I told you to stay here. I was wrong. Please come to Draenor with me.

 

AGGRA

(shifting the children to a more comfortable position)

And do what? Babysit?

 

THRALL

I already spoke to Saurfang, he’ll be glad to help watch the kids. I know he adores Durak. And if you’d rather not take them with us, Matron Battlewail says we can drop the kids off with her. She has a wet-nurse who can tend to the baby.

 

AGGRA

(staring)

Are you serious?

 

THRALL

Yes, my love.

AGGRA

(sets the toddler down, thrusts the infant into Thrall’s arms)

I’ll be ready faster than you can summon feral wolves.

 

Aggra pauses a moment to kiss the toddler’s forehead. She grabs a hunk of bread and gives it to him to chew on.

 

AGGRA

I love you, sweetie, but Mommy’s got to go kick some Iron Horde butt.

 

THRALL

(sighs at the infant girl in his arms)

If you grow up to be half as fierce as your mother and your grandmother, maybe I’d better go join the Iron Horde. I think it would be safer.

 

 —–

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